May 18, 2010

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Semi-Final Game : Opponent ? PWC.
Thursday, May 14 –
The SR soccer team took the field in their nerve wracking semi-final match against the Ogres from PWC. It became clear before the first whistle that PWC a.k.a ?The Byfugliens? were ready to, by any means necessary, use their size to their advantage to steal the win. To make matters worse the lollygagging Byfuglien?s began to heckle the SR troops.

Riled up and full of vinegar the SR troops took the field. Bruised and battered from the previous night?s victory, SR was slow from the gates. The Byfuglien?s looked faster, stronger and were clearly the favorite to win. It was evident that amongst their staff of 20,000, the finest twelve players were selected for the Thursday night special that will forever be known as, ?The Battle of Richmond?. It was a matter of minutes before the first elbow was thrown. Bloodied SR members were soon seen sprawled over the green turf like an under budgeted Christmas horror film. It was only a matter of time before this strategy of ?goon-like? play resulted in the first goal of the game. PWC would add two more in the dying minutes of the first half to give PWC a 3-0 lead heading into halftime.

Spirits and ice packs running low, SR with the power of the fauxhawk, emptied their hearts of emotion, of fear, of defeat: no more distractions, no more Mr. Nice guy! SR took to the field and drew a line at half court. Quickly into the second half, the SR unit was in what seemed like a trance. Players ran faster, fought harder and simply overwhelmed the unsuspecting PWC pipsqueaks. Five minutes into the first half, SR scored numero uno. Relentless, SR fired 2 more in the next five minutes ~ 3 minutes left/ tie game ~ SR continued forward, pushing the pace. SR SCORES to take its first lead!!. PWC astonished at the events that had just transpired, elevated their game for one final push. ~20 seconds remain ~ a hurling free kick, a bad bounce PWC tied the game with 0:01 remaining on the clock.

SHOOTOUT

PWC 1st shot ? The foot of the PwC player sends the ball on a crash course with the goalie at break neck speeds. SAVE!!!!

SR 1st shot ? Confident, and focused, defensive specialist and audit poster-boy Jason Mosberian wasted no time. Unwinding like a cannon from a gun ship the ball split through time and space, the opposing goalie, happy to be alive narrowly gets out of the way to allow SR to go ahead by one.

PWC 2nd shot ?Miss

SR 2nd shot ? None other than the Fauxhawk himself remains to win the game. Destiny was once again knocking and Ketan spent all day getting ready to answer the door. From his almost slow motion, ?Bay Watch? like stride to the line, to his arduous three minute setup which included a fresh spiking of his hair and a clean shirt; to his wind up, which looked more awkward than athletic. But wait, the gods would not allow it? he fans on the shot!!? The team watched in horror as the ball trickled wide not even having enough pace to hit the back wall a mere 10 feet away.

PWC 3rd shot to save the game ? However, it was the SR goalie that would turn this travesty into triumph. With the game on the line and lightening fast reflexes the SR net minder stops the final shot with a flying high kick sending the ball into (what some would later say) ?into outer space.

SR is victorious!!!

When asked to comment on the failed PK, Ketan was a man of few words citing ?Gel in the eyes? as the cause of the miss.

FINAL SCORE: SR ? 5, PWC ? 4

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment!

Written by: Hussain Haji and Eli Dusenbury

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